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5 Great Ways To Deal With Difficult Parents

Music Education

From the viewpoint of a former Piano Teacher.

I used to teach full-time at a well-established music academy, where I met many parents of diverse cultures, nationalities, educations, and properties.

Their status is either rich, richer, or richest.

Throughout my piano teaching years, I noticed four types of difficult parents:

But I didn't write this to criticize challenging parents. Instead, I write this piece with the purpose of sharing how I dealt with the issue. And hopefully, it will help you too. Or at least, you may feel that you're not alone in this.

Building trust applies to all parents regardless of the challenge levels you face with them. But you need to put extra effort into building and maintaining a solid rapport with difficult parents.

Be friendly but with boundaries. Say hi to them when they drop their kids off. And let them know how their children are doing as frequently as you can.

It can be pretty hard to talk to all parents, especially when teaching one class to another non-stop. So I used to write messages and pass them to the school's admin to send to the parents.

At some point, because I was always showing interest in their children's progress, parents stopped being clingy and trusted my ways of teaching.

Building a trustworthy and professional relationship with parents also includes having a good connection with your students.

I know.

How do you connect with your students, especially when they act like little devils in class?

It can be pretty tough, right?

You have multiple students, so how do you connect with all of them.

The easiest way is to spend a brief few minutes checking in on them during each class. Ask how their day or week was. My students were happy to tell me because their parents were too busy to spend time with them.

Another reason why many difficult parents eventually stopped bugging me was that I knew their kids quite well. In some cases, even better than them because there are many things children prefer telling their teachers than their parents.

Confidence isn't conceived from glowing degree certification alone. It's how you present yourself in front of others. Like good eye contact and posture can build authority against dominating parents.

When I first started teaching piano, my depression and desperation to recruit more students could be seen a mile away. Parents with a lot of influence sniffed that scent like a predator smells its prey. It's the worst because they take advantage of that.

So one day, I looked at my weary face in the mirror and said this: Do not be intimidated by their wealth and status. Parents send their children to the music academy because they need an expert to teach their kids. You're the expert here, not them.

Then, I stood as if I was the tallest person on earth, straightened my back, relaxed my shoulders, fixed my chin higher, and practiced straight eye contact in front of the mirror. I did it every day until it became second nature to me.

My improved body language made a huge difference. Parents questioned my teaching methods a lot less. And even if they did, they would ask me respectfully.

You've gained a lot of skills and knowledge by studying your field of expertise for many years. So why don't you use them to the fullest?

I've seen parents excited to enroll their children in music classes because they were captivated by the academy's high success rate in exams. However, many left as soon as a semester ended.

So throughout my years of teaching there, I noticed one of the reasons parents stayed was how well I used my skills. While parents were highly motivated to enroll their children for exams, my students were highly demotivated to learn and practice according to a rigid syllabus.

The once bright-eyed kids thrilled to show me they could play Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star, turned into gloomy children.

So, I arranged a simpler piano arrangement of pop songs they liked. I started doing this when a mother, unlike others, requested to teach her daughter current songs instead.

Since then, my students have been more motivated to learn for fun and exams. Also, parents were impressed by how well-made the sheet music was thanks to awesome notation software like Sibelius, Finale, or Musescore.

Besides that, I made extra ear training exercises using music production software for my students struggling with Aural Skills.

I've seen parents having disputes with the front desk admins about the number of their children's attendance. This is significant because students' attendance determines when parents should pay for the new term.

The good thing was teachers at the music academy had to write students' progress of each class in their record books. So, whenever challenging parents questioned the authenticity of the attendant sheet, the admins would ask the kids to show their record books for verification.

In some cases, when parents chose to ignore the content of the record books, I would then show them dates in my students' music theory workbook.

If you teach musical instruments or tutoring privately, you'd know the dates aren't just homework reminders for your students. But also to protect you against this type of problem.

I've mentioned from the beginning the uphill battle of dealing with difficult parents. But sometimes, mistakes just happen because of you. It's a hard pill to swallow, especially when the people you dislike most point it out to you.

But dealing with challenging parents doesn't mean you should be perfect all the time. Acknowledging your mistakes and apologizing is a great way to calm angry parents and potentially build better rapport.

Now, apologizing for your mistakes doesn't mean making yourself look small and saying sorry repetitively. This is worst, especially when dealing with parents who have so much power.

It's essential to keep your voice down because they will realize that they're the only ones who look like a maniac in the room. So once you get to that point, both of you can resolve the issue gracefully. And like many disagreements, resolved conflicts leads to better relationships.

Though I've experienced meeting many overly demanding parents, I've also met those who were very civil and chill. They were the ones that kept me going whenever I had a hard time.

I learned to accept that overbearing parents are just inevitable. As educators, you're bound to meet these kinds of people at some point. It's never fun, but that's the nature of being a teacher. You're not just an educator to your students but also their parents.

How do you deal with difficult parents? Have you experienced arguing with influential guardians?

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